Yesterday Jason shared that the way his parents raised him led him to do things completely different when he found himself a father eight years ago. Me on the other hand, I would definitely take a page from my mother’s parenting handbook. A single parent who raised three kids in her lifetime, and even took on other kids from time to time – she was very hands off. She insured we had the essentials but she never really got into our personal lives too much believing it was our lives to live. Yeah, there are times you wish you had a parent that would sit down and listen but then you see parents who are actually like that and it makes you shiver.
It’s not that other parents I’ve seen are bad, it’s just I wasn’t raised that way. That’s why I’d definitely adopt a more low key approach to parenting if I ever did decide that kids were a part of my life plan. However, I will support them a bit more when it comes to decisions about the big things like college, sex and other things “special” episodes of TV sitcoms featured. I feel that’s where you really need to be involved in things. Other than that, let your kids learn from their own fuck ups, or just be there when they need you. I cannot stand those parents who are constantly around their kids, all up in their lives like they don’t have one of their own to live.
That’s the thing, when you become a parent – it’s like you’re not yourself anymore. You’re just “mom” or “dad” and not your name until your kids are grown and out of the house. Which is why I am against adults living at home past a certain age. They are taking time away from their parents getting their identity back. My brother is doing it with my own mother, and I don’t want that to happen with me if I have kids.
Perhaps there’ll be some things I change about my parental influence. I’ll be there for the big things and will encourage them to get the hell out when they’re older but at the same time I still want to live in a home of individuals living their own lives.