Little girls are often given dolls in order to place some sort of thought into their heads that a baby is what they should strive to have one day. For Denise, it was just a toy and she just played with it when her friends were around, never giving it much thought. She admits that the biological clock others her age speak of must’ve never developed inside her because she doesn’t feel like she’s missing out by not having kids right now, and she is firm believing that she will never yearn to be someone’s mother because when you boil it down – she just doesn’t care all that much for kids. In fact, she didn’t even like them when she was one of them. That’s where we started this and along the way we talked about the stigma people like her face, if she likes kids even a little and more.
Kendra: When and why did you start to not think too fondly of kids?
Denise: Pretty much my entire life. I have a photo of four year old me being forced to hold my brand new nephew and have I horrific look on my face. Growing up at school, I remember all of the other kids annoying me because they were loud and hyper. I honestly think it’s how I was raised being the baby in my family with much older siblings who treated me more as their equal than their kid sister.
Kendra: When you reached the age where your friends started to procreate, was that somewhat of a nightmare?
Denise: A lot of my close friends are like minded when it comes to having kids so I haven’t had to experience this too much. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a nightmare for the ones that did decide to have kids. I’m not going to judge them for it. Just keep them away from me and don’t invite me to their toddler birthday parties. It only becomes annoying when it’s the only thing they have to talk about and then give you the “someday” lecture.
Denise: It sounds cliché, but giving up your freedom and finding yourself. Being tied down to this creature you created in the heat of passion that you need to keep alive. There is also the obvious obscene amount of money they cost.
Kendra: Really though, are you the type of person who is okay with kids just so long as they aren’t around you long or at all, or is it all kids, all the time?
Denise: It depends on the kid. I have had kids I have grown fond of. It’s all about the kid’s personality and how they are raised. But that is about the 2%. The other 98% is not wanting to be around kids period. Which is a funny thing seeing that I was a store manager of a children’s clothing store for a while. I liked my job until the kids came in and ran around, and I had one bite my leg. I can’t comprehend how people are fine being around kids all the time, and find their quirks adorable.
Kendra: Do you ever feel somewhat of a stigma because you’re not married with kids right now?
Denise: Sometimes. If anyone ever gives me a guilt trip about it my sarcastic, defensive side comes out and I remind them of everything I get to do because I don’t have kids. I turn the tables on them. Because it’s not right to think women have to be married with kids. I don’t think this stigma will ever go away for anyone who has made this life choice for themselves.
Kendra: So a lot of people who are anti-kids often forget they were once just as much a brat as the kid they just glared at at the park. Why do you feel some anti-kid people have that selective memory?
Denise: For me I know I don’t have selective memory on not being a bratty kid. I honestly think I’ve always had a grouchy 80-year-old woman living in my soul that never allowed me to act out. Because I was glaring at the kids when I was a kid. I mean if some anti-kid people were that bratty kid maybe it’s just something they can’t admit to themselves because it’s hypocritical. People don’t like to see the worst in themselves. It’s easier to deny that part of their life.
Kendra: Lastly, what’s the biggest high and biggest low about living that anti-kid lifestyle?
Denise: The biggest high is definitely having the freedom to go and come as I please. To be able to drop everything to travel and adventure; live my life 100%. The only low I can think of is someday I may end up a sick old lady and my cats and dogs won’t have a driver’s license to get me to my doctors appointments.