Lacking a need for social interaction was inherited from my mother but as I got older, I started to sit back and see people older than me without anyone by their side and the thought of being 45, still hanging out with people half my age and having no one to come home to – that was a fear that started to arise. So after going to a singles panel at Comikaze, I dipped my little toe into the dating pool of the online kind.
Going on a date was nerve wracking at first. Here I was well past my mid-20’s. The last time I’d been on a date was in college and it was likely to Baskin Robbins or Chuck E. Cheese. So dating as a legit adult, this was as Aladdin would put it, “A Whole New World.” Scary at first and while some dates were far above and beyond others, I started to get the hang of things. Plus, sometimes a date was nothing more than a free meal and an excuse to be taken out by someone who’d call you pretty.
I remember talking to a friend in the past couple of months about dating and how it helps with your self-esteem. Those who grew up with a mirror as their best friend probably won’t get this but those of us who grew up looking like linebackers (as a 13-year-old girl), having horrendous skin, being too this or that, and so forth and so on – it’s hard for a lot of us to be adults who look at themselves with confidence. Not saying that you should only value the opinion of others, but after years of feeling like the ugly stepsister, to finally have people looking at you like you’re some sort of Cinderella – yes please! Dating gave me that boost I needed at that time in my life because it was definitely a low point – which we’ll circle back to next month.
So being called pretty is one thing, but does that garner for the best dating experience? Oh hell no. The good definitely comes with the bad and I’ve had my share. Dudes that invite you out and don’t pay, others who show up in flip flops and a tank top (okay if we’re going to the beach, but other than that…WTF), ones who are late, those who play it too cool for school…and the list goes on and on. Again though, it’s a numbers game and you have to have the bad if you’re ever going to appreciate the good, right? And my greatest came at the beginning of December almost two years ago.
That marked the end of my dating days as that date turned into my boyfriend and we’ve been together ever since. If the idea of being a single 45-year-old and a mixer hadn’t gave me the initial fear and push, I would have never met the person who makes me feel like Belle (personal choice over Cinderella) even when I have the biggest zit in the world Airbnb’ing on my face, an insane amount of gas or feel like crawling into a hole because reality is being too much. Social interaction is still not my thing, but dating helped me see myself in a new light and opened up a new chapter in my existence.