Belonging is a natural want from human beings. Even serial killers want to belong and often times that lack of is the reason they do what they do – on top of being seriously wrong in the head. So yeah, we want to belong and that idea comes at a very young age. We seek out friendships as soon as we hit the playground, but over time those friendships shift into what we know as cliques. Even if we’d never call them that – every group in a school yard is one. From day one up until we graduate with diploma in hand. From the goths to the jocks to the fat kids – well at least that’s the first clique I can really remember being a part of.
It was middle school and my friends and I in the honors classes all carried around an extra pound or two for our age. With that, and to rebel against the skinny girls getting attention from the cute boys in class, we formed a Fat Kids Club. Not sanctioned by the school in any way, all it really consisted of was sleepovers with treats and ranking said cute boys in order from cutest to not so cutest. We all had roles and I was the secretary. Who knew my love of organization and office/school supplies ran back so far? Anyways, this group of girls gave me a sense of belonging because at the core we were all dealing with similar things. Hey, if you don’t think being chunky in junior high is a big deal – you were likely skinny and not suffering from embarrassment due to the miles of stretch marks that had taken over your epidermis.
I, like 99.9% of people, just wanted a place to feel like myself and being around other girls with some chunk in their trunk made me feel at ease. So while cliques can be seen as a bad thing in some cases – in other cases they’re a-okay. As I got older I continued to seek out others who were like me, but I started to stray away from physical attributes and searched more for those into the same music. Concerts were a mecca in college and my new friends during that time – we shared a love of anything Pete Wentz put his stamp of approval on.
Fast Forward to today and I’m not sure what my “clique” would consist of or if I even have one. I’m a bit of a hermit and only like to escape once every two weeks or so. I’m in a relationship and sometimes think to myself, “We need couple friends,” and then I see couples on Facebook and grimace like, “Who the fuck would want to go on a couples hike?” Conflicting thoughts have made me feel like being a hermit and surrounding myself with a handful of people in small doses is where I belong at this stage…which is fine with this little shelled girl.