You Can’t Sit with Us: Cliques are so Middle School, or So We Thought

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Brandon Boyd beautifully sings in Incubus’ “Smile Lines,” “I understand why they say high school never ends…” That often comes to mind whenever I am put in a situation that reminds me of the clique-ish nature of middle and high school. That catty behavior that we’re all guilty of displaying long after we’ve graduated from required education. We’d all love to believe that we’re above that, mature enough to know that we don’t have to be a part of a clique now that we’re older – and of course wiser – but that’s not the case. We’ll be in a clique until the day we die and that’s just how we roll as humans. What we don’t have to do is be bitches about it, but that can sometimes come with the territory.

The only difference between cliques as a kid and when we’re older is that we often find ourselves in more than one as adults. You have your real friends, work friends, extracurricular friends, couple friends, family friends and so forth and so on. And with each, we act completely different. That has to do with a number of attributes; how comfortable you are with each group, how well they personally know you, what they know about you, etc. Carlin Flora noted in Friendfluence, “You might tailor your personal narratives to each of those people differently and feel a bit fragmented as a result.” Which reinstates, when you’re with your work friends you’re likely acting a bit different than you would when you were with your family friends. That’s just how we roll with different cliques and that’ll always remain the same.

Another thing that may always stay the same is the beef and drama that comes with cliques. Perhaps not within your personal ones, but with yours and another. This takes me back to the days when many hours (too many) were spent in Fall Out Boy lines. These old school fans absolutely loathed a new group on the block and vice-versa and for some time me and my best friend played the part of Switzerland. We talked to everyone and stayed in our own world made up of board games and Mad Libs. Sadly though, we couldn’t stay neutral for long and had to pick a side. Once that was done, we were swept into the drama that came with it. College, you were quite the time. But at the same time, there’s a sense of belonging that comes with the inclusion of a clique that you can’t deny.

Just when you thought being a part of a clique was over and done with once you got older – NOPE. In fact, as you get older you actually find yourself a part of multiple ones and with that you can find a little drama as they butt heads with one another, but in the grand scheme of things – the biggest drama may always reside in your clique vs. another.

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