When your mom walks out in the most ridiculous looking outfit, you have to wonder – how the hell doesn’t she care? Well, at least that was the case with my mom. I remember growing up, I would not go the grocery store without a shower and new outfit on. Today, I walk down to Target on a regular basis in an oversized tank top, mismatches tube socks and my hair in nappy looking braids. Just a few years ago this was not the case, but like my mom continued to tell me as a kid, “Watch when you get older, you’re not going to care.” Oh moms, what goes on in their brains during pregnancy that gives them this almighty wisdom? Well she was right, the older I got – the more I realized that I truly don’t care what others think of the way I look. Most of it has to do with my mom, but the other part came with the realization that continuously worrying that others are judging you is a damn waste of time.
Okay, that’s not to say that when you go out NO ONE is going to look at you funny. That’s a given and as someone who is likely to laugh at a stranger, I can tell you that there will be at least one. BUT here’s the reality, one is not everyone. There are people out there who have all this anxiety built up around the idea that when they walk into a room, people are going to turn to the door, look them up and down, and then spend an hour talking about them. In reality they are going to walk into the room, get a few looks and then likely be ignored. It’s insane to think everyone in the world has nothing better to do than judge you, so stop caring so much about it. All you need to worry about is what you think of yourself and while it’s not going to happen overnight, you have to learn to love yourself because like the great RuPaul says to close out every episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”Single people take note, that may be one of the reasons you’re still stuck swiping left and right, but we’ll get to that in a few months.
While I’m not 100% in love with my outer appearance, I’m way more comfortable in my skin today than I was even three years ago. Remember the boy I was felt like? Yeah, today I may slip into that mode for a split second when I stupidly compare myself to a pretty girl I pass on the street, but then I shake it off like T. Swift and go about my day because I know I’ve come a long way from the frumpy tomboy that once was called “sir.” Learning to be okay with who I am first came from learning to not give a damn about others and what they thought of me, and like my mom said – it definitely came with age. If I ever met a confident 13-year-old, I’d be shocked. It’s sad our brains have not evolved enough to allow us to smile at our reflections sooner than later, but like all moms say, “Who cares what the other kids think, do you boo boo, do you.” Okay, perhaps not every parent is saying the “boo boo” part but you get the point.