Maybe it’s because the only people I’ve ever had to work with were from LA, maybe it’s because I am my mother’s daughter and inherited her disdain for people, or maybe it’s just that I work better on my own. Whatever the reason, I do not like having to interact with humans when it comes to work. I can email, that’s fine – but talking on the phone or being face to face, those make my face twist up in disgust. If Michael is the coworker from up above, I am surely the one from the pits of hell. I am quick to argue, and I often do because really – if you’re running your company like a dumbass…I feel like it’s my duty to let you know, and I do not like nor care how you’re doing. Shut up Carol from accounting. I imagine all jobs have accounting departments and they all have a Carol who never stops talking.
The first real job I ever had was at Macy’s during the holiday season and I remember the exact moment I wasn’t going to be asked to stay after Christmas. The manager asked me if I cared about being part of the team and I just stared at her like she asked me to shoot a puppy. Teams and a love of spirit have never been for me. Looking back, this comes from school. I wanted to play softball and remember thinking about it, but the idea of having to talk to the girls on the team made those thoughts quickly exit my brain. Then I thought, tennis – you go out by yourself or with one other person, I could do that. It was my fat kid ways and the outfit that made that thought just as worse. No manager at Macy’s, I don’t want to be a part of your team, but thanks for the couple of months of employment.
Next up was a radio promotions company that had about five to seven employees at any given time. I talked to two and maybe said 100 words total to the others in the two or so years I was there. That’s not even an exaggeration. I could spend hours in my room as a kid never saying a word to anyone by my Barbies, and as an adult I could spend my day at work never speaking unless it was absolutely necessary. After that I went to a 12-week contract job where I didn’t engage until halfway through. Yes, I barely made any noise to those around me for six weeks. Why? Because I do not like people. However, I did end up crushing on one and befriending a handful of the others. The rest were typical LA types who made my skin crawl.
Today I work as a freelancer and the number one perk is not having to see people on a day to day basis. It’s made me somewhat of a hermit, but it’s heavenly not having Carol from accounting asking how my weekend was. It’s not like I don’t like to listen to people, I actually prefer to just sit there and listen to others. It’s the talking back that escapes me. If you have nothing to say, why speak? Social media has made us think our thoughts are so important, but that’s another topic for another day. Back to the topic at hand today, working with others is my nightmare but maybe it’s just the people here in this shallow town…Maybe Carol in another state wouldn’t make me want to jump out a window?