The Passion Predicament

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People who live with a purpose tend to live longer. I read that, or a variation of, the other day on Twitter and thought, “I’ll be six feet under by 35,” because at almost 30…I have no idea what I truly want to do. Whoa Kendra, I thought you loved writing and your blogs? Is what some may ask and the answer to that is yes but as I get older and job offers become more like UFO sightings in an upscale neighborhood, I start to doubt myself and at the same time, if not writing – what?

The barrel isn’t overflowing with ideas. I thought music was where I wanted to be, but the people that surround that industry in LA are possibly some of the worst I’ve come into contact with. It may just be this city though and their entitled, my shit don’t stink, “I work in the business” bullshit they spit out that makes my skin crawl, but nevertheless – they’ve soured it. Writing about music is where I’d like to stay. So then I think about public transportation. Wait, what? I know – that’s a world away from music and writing, but as someone who will never learn what life is like behind the wheel – it’s something I feel strongly about. LA is possibly the worst, with Metro Los Angeles thinking only about the rich folks who work on the westside who couldn’t fathom taking the bus with those who clean their high rise offices. I’ve looked into working with Metro but my skill set left me cold at their front door. The last one on my list was audience coordination. This one, I’ve actually taken multiple steps towards, applying every so often to the same handful of companies in the area – each time, building myself up more and more. However, my resume’s yet to catch their eye, but I’m hopeful.

Every week this project makes me look at not only the world around me, but myself and with passion being one of the words of the week – I came up short with what I’m 100% passionate about. There are a multitude of things I love and would enjoy working with but when your resume is 99.9% writing top 10 lists and about The Big Bang Theory, a lot of jobs outside of writing aren’t swiping right. So while I’ll keep on looking at Metro’s site and the audience jobs, I’ll continue to write my ass off to make due because it’s one of the few things I’ve found some sort of success in. Minimal, but it’s something. Plus, whenever I get to write about the things I want, I do so with a smile on my face. The only thing that sours it is when you have an editor who makes chewing rocks sprinkled with feces seem like a great Friday night.

So maybe writing is something I want to spend my life doing and it’s just about finding the right team to be a part of? Yeah, I think that’s it. Because when you hate the people you work with, how the hell are you supposed to love the job at all? I’m getting ahead of myself because we’re closing out this month with coworkers next time around. These personal pieces got my mind all turned around, so I’ll close this out with thanking you for reading this random trail of thoughts about my mixed, passionate feelings towards my future.

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