Everyone has a family. We either have the ones we’re born into, the ones we make along the way or for some – both. Whether you’re connected by blood or just plain old fashioned love, I think we can all agree they are a blessing when it comes to borrowing a truck to move, having a likely match for a kidney donation, or being a free babysitter when necessary. The one thing that never fails though is how a family sees us. You could have all the money in the world, a great relationship and have everything together but because you’re still taking the bus – they see you as a dependent teen waiting at a bus stop. It’s all relative and varies from family to family but what ultimately sucks is when your family fails to see you as the adult you are. However, in some cases – it may be your own damn fault.
You have to ask yourself, “Am I an adult adolescent?” Okay, not to just toss a term at you. Here’s what that is according to Dr. Larry V. Stockman and Cynthia S. Graves in Grown-Up Children Who Won’t Grow Up they described an “adult adolescent” as someone who is “old enough to be an adult” but who still “retains some or many of the dependencies typical of adolescents.” They go on to add that while some of these adults “may appear competent to the rest of the world, [they] cannot make the simplest decisions without help” and “abuse every privilege.” Does this sound like you? If so, then your family – especially your parents – can’t help but to see you as a kid still. You’ve given them no other reason not to. Yes, you’re holding down a steady job and have moved out, but there is a laundry list of other things about you making your demeanor cry out, “I’m a child who can’t be trusted in this world!”
This tends to be displayed between adults and their parents in a variety of ways. One being when someone who is say 30 and lives at home still needs to call to let their mom know they are going to be out late. Mom knows very well that her child is responsible. She even brags to her friends about her kid’s new job and position BUT in the back of her mind that kid who may be partner at the firm one day is still her 14-year-old child because she’s doing their dishes and paying their rent. Remember Megan from last month? She has a great home, but lives at home and admitted to still getting those text inquiries from time to time. Adults who want to shake that whole “being treated like a kid” thing need to shake off the childlike tendencies and showcase how grown they are because without that, no one will ever see them as their real age.
Not to circle back to last month and center only on those who live at home, this also goes towards those who live outside their parents four walls. Even though your mail gets delivered elsewhere now, you too can still be sending adolescent signals back to the homestead to make mom, dad, aunt Carol, and grandma feel like you never made it past 17. Are you still doing the same things you were in high school, are your dating habits more or less the same as they were a decade ago, and what about your wardrobe? Your Invader Zim tees take mom back to the days when you dragged her into Hot Topic and made her stand in that “louder than shit” store during Back-2-School sales.
Family is great and thanks to advancements in culture, it’s come to mean so many things but let’s get one thing straight – it’s sometimes not their fault they still see you as a kid. Adult adolescents need to realize who and what they are before they go pointing the blame at their family for treating them unfairly.
The Highs and Lows of Being Treated Like a Kid Vs. Like a Grown Up
- Out of those who took this survey, an overwhelming amount of you said your parents treat you somewhere in between like a kid and an adult.
- 38% of you think your parents treat you like a kid sometimes though because well, you’re the baby of the family.
- 38% surveyed think their parents treat them like an adult most of the time because they’ve proven themselves to be a legit grown up.
- Does the high of being spoiled like a kid really match up to feeling immature, disrespected, not being given credit for what you’ve accomplished and having to ask permission to do things? Because all the lows tied as being the biggest downer of being treated like a kid.
- On the flip side, the almost everyone agreed that the biggest high of being treated like an adult is knowing your parents don’t have to worry about you, but at the same time – that also is the biggest low because you don’t want to let them down.
The days that follow are packed. There’s an interview with a fellow Backstreet Boys fan whose family can’t see she’s grown, an awkward conversation with my parental units, a look inside one of Jonah Hill’s most annoying roles and of course a top 10 to wrap this all up.