With my BFF’s older siblings being out of the house for years by the time they moved into her family’s new house when we were in high school, there was plenty of space. Fast forward to when it was time for her to leave for college and then later – life, her parents didn’t see a need to change up her room. They didn’t necessarily need her room for anything else, and in my head it was comforting to be able to look in there and see their daughter who was in San Francisco, Portland, Alaska – girl has lived in more places since college than I’ve been in my entire life.
With that, I thought who else better to talk to than the mother of my BFF, Alice. While my own mom fits my needs as a hands off kind of Roseanne like matriarch, it was always nice having Alice around as a second mother figure who was into crafting and being a part of the community; our families on paper are polar opposites. So more open when it came to space than my own, I knew she would be perfect to talk to about this subject since she indeed still has my BFF’s room all set up like she resides there.
Kendra: When your youngest moved out, you pretty much left her room untouched. Is it still like that?
Alice: We didn’t transform the room because she comes to visit (go to concerts) regularly.
Kendra: Why didn’t you transform it into an extra guest bedroom as soon as she moved upstate?
Alice: It just happens to be a spare bedroom with all her stuff in it. Someday when she has a permanent place she may move her stuff out.
Kendra: Michael V. Bloom wrote about the five stages of growing up and development. Stage four has to do with each family member redefining their self image. With parents, it’s about getting over the empty nest syndrome and finding other means of fulfillment. I think that won’t fully happen until the room is taken back. Do you agree with that, or do you think it’s possible for parents to go about while still dedicating space in their home to their grown children?
Alice: I don’t feel that the “empty nest” syndrome doesn’t apply because she hasn’t actually moved somewhere permanently.
Alice: As far as who had the idea of keeping her room the same, it was probably both of us but more so Leroy. Of course the room is now the cat’s room (Moose now and before it was Precious) I don’t think having a room doesn’t encourage a child to move back.
Kendra: Now, what’s the biggest high about keeping your kid’s room intact after they’ve flew the nest?
Alice: The biggest high is that when she comes to visit, I don’t have to clean anything up or make arrangements for her coming.
Kendra: On the opposite end, what’s the biggest low about it?
Alice: The opposite end is that It could be used for a craft room or a music room for Leroy.